a fraction of your smile/or a fragment of your mind

Well, in case you weren’t in the loop, folks I am pregnant. Already it’s been quite the journey and I can’t believe it’s almost half over, because it feels like it just began. The first quarter of this year flew by because I was basically a zombie from early February through early April. In the past two weeks or so I’ve really started to feeling ALMOST 100 percent back to myself again.

Pregnancy is a bitch in the beginning, chickadees. I’m surprised by how I didn’t really know this but also by how many people online/in real life are like, “Oh yeah it kicks you in the crotch.” It’s shocking to be so tired all the time and so grossed out by food AND nauseated – turns out morning sickness has nothing to do with the morning. (On the plus side, I have finally learned how to spell nauseated on the first try.)

I definitely wasn’t ready for the way I felt. It was like having mono and the flu. I would come home from work exhausted and eat chicken tenders and french fries and crawl into bed at 8 pm. Weekends were for sleeping in and taking afternoon naps. I had to cancel trips, hangouts, exercise plans, book clubs…the list goes on. As I entered my second trimester I realized how lucky I was that the weddings I have are all in this time period. Now coming home from work and cooking seems tiring, but five weeks ago it was impossible.

It’s shocking to know this is normal, common, and expected. It’s shocking to know that you are not supposed to tell anyone you’re pregnant in the first trimester when you feel so, so shitty. When you are dragging your feet at work and peeing every 20 minutes and can barely remember how to answer emails. Your friends start to wonder what’s up (hopefully wondering if you’re pregnant and not if you hate them) and you can’t be excited or nervous about your future because all you can see is your bed at the end of the day.

This is all to say of course I am happy I am pregnant, but damnnnnnnn folks. Building human life is difficult! I wanted nothing to do with all foods. Cucumbers, chicken, fries, and cold fruit smoothies were my solace. I was quiet (Jeff probably appreciated that!) and the only exercise I got was my slow, slow walk with Luna in the mornings.

The good news is I’m in Week 17 – I’m on the other side of the first trimester and my appetite is back and I can exercise again. I stay up until 10:30! I go out on weekends! I cook! I am now finally excited about what’s to come. I’m starting to plan again. I have weddings to look forward to (baby’s already been to one, we start ’em early around here!) and am looking pregnant which boosts morale (except when I cannot get my clothes on. Oh well.)

Work knows, friends know, the Internet knows. I can talk about it. And, if you’ve been pregnant, I want to hear about it! How was your first trimester? Did it blow? Were you shocked? Did you have food aversions? Did you have to take a break before getting dressed in the morning? Did you cry when your husband/wife/partner offered you a grilled cheese because why on earth would someone eat such a horrible thing?

I have a lot of feelings about feminism as I slide into this pregnancy, and will probably share them here, but for now let me just say that if you have been pregnant you are a fucking warrior and deserve ice cream and snuggles and a raise.

Sorry/not sorry if this becomes a place I talk about pregnancy/babies for a bit.


5gts: i can make good turning amazing

1. My mom comes to town tomorrow, and my dad is already here! Super-fun weekend, bring it on.

2. No time for after-parent sadness, because on Monday they head back to Chicago and I head to NYC to see my sorella and co. for HAMILTON.

3. While in NYC, we’re going to play tourist – here I come, Lady Liberty! I can’t wait to do something in NYC that makes me feel like I’m 14 again, and maybe I’ll even by an I (HEART) NY shirt on a street corner for $3. I’m a wild woman!

4. Our first pizza night in our new house tomorrow night. This would be number 2, but see number 2, and you get me.

5. I’m sorry, have you seen 2? Also, Lin Manuel Miranda. Also, Angelina/Eliza/And Peggy. The list goes on…in fact, soon I’ll have my Hamilton playlist available for you. You’re welcome.


how lucky we are to be alive right now

Well guys, we did it. On Sunday, Ellen, Jeff, and I ran our half marathon! This was Ellen’s third half marathon, and Jeff’s first half (except he’s already run a marathon, so it counts but only kind of ;)) and it was my first one.

Half Marathon | Santa to the Sea

I have been training for this half marathon since the end of June, because I was worried I wasn’t going to be ready. I ran 160 miles to prep for this marathon (which is many less than I technically was supposed to run.) I slept countless extra hours to get over my various illness including bronchitis.

I didn’t make plans with friends here and there so I could run miles after work through our neighborhoods through hot and cold weather, through Santa Ana winds and even through rain (I know, shocking.) We even moved our holiday party to the weekend after Thanksgiving (thanks friends!) and to a Sunday night in order to plan for this half marathon.

The Thursday before the half, I went to my weekly soccer game and I pulled my right quad muscle kicking a ball. Never had I pulled a muscle like that simply kicking a ball (or honestly doing anything else) but I suspect it had something to do with the hard ball to my leg I took the previous week (seriously, there is still a soccer imprint on my leg.) So I spent Friday icing my leg once an hour, and spent time heating it Friday night. I went to bed early that night and hoped that the icing, the anti-inflammatory, the heating, and rest would do the trick…

Sunday came and my leg was OK. Miles 1-3 were tough, and I was sure with every step I wouldn’t be able to finish. But I warmed up around Mile 4, and by Mile 7 I was numb. When “Alexander Hamilton” came on right after Mile 4.5, I knew I was going to finish.

An hour after Jeff and at least thirty minutes after Ellen, I crossed that finish line still jogging, still smiling, and not in too much pain. A little over three hours of running and then suddenly (or maybe not so suddenly) it was over. Of course, now two days later I am sore all over, but I did it you guys!

Thanks to my friends and family who let me use the last six months to accomplish such a goal – I couldn’t have done it without the constant support of my team, from those who suggested music, who helped me heal, who understood when I cancelled plans or didn’t return their calls/emails/texts on time because I was out running. I’m so glad I have y’all in my life, and I’m so glad to say I’ve run a half marathon.

And now, rest…right?

on why i kept my name.

I have been getting a lot questions that are basically this: “Why didn’t you take your husband’s last name, what kind of wife are you?!”

Some are just asking because they’re curious. Others are asking because they’re judging, one way or the other, feminist or traditionalist or what have you. The variations I’ve gotten are, “So what’s your last name now?”, or “What is your new last name?”, or “You didn’t change it?” followed by a silent judging stare…they go on and on, and they’ve kept up even though I’ve been married for almost six months.

Every time I feel just a little more indignant that people (save my close friends/family) even think it’s appropriate to ask that question. I don’t mind if people are like, “What is your email address?” But I mind people placing me in a box that I don’t think should exist.

The reasons are big and small. Here are some of them. I kept my last name:

* Because I said so.
* Because I like it, and my parents gave it to me, and I like them, too.
* Because Nikki did, setting precedent for me to as well.
* Because what? Why is this question even being asked of me?
* Because feminism.
* Because I love my husband more than most things on this planet but I love myself too and Jennie Palluzzi sounds great.
* Because Palluzzi is who I am.
* Because I am the only Jennie Palluzzi.
* Because Palluzzi Pizza, duh.
* Because I am lazy and didn’t want to change anything.
* Because to be honest, I didn’t really think that hard about it. I just thought, “Hey I am getting married.” In my head, marriage is a lot of things, but it’s not my name.
* Because Jeff didn’t mind, either, because the person he fell in love with was Jennie Palluzzi, as it turns out.

Now, if you change your name, awesome for you! If you hyphenate, great! If you have your husband or partner take your name, cool! Do what you want! I don’t care! You be you! CAN I LIVE?

you got the kind of look in your eyes // as if no one knows anything but us

Today is my sister’s thirty-first birthday, and although I am not to celebrate with her I started the day feeling excitedly like it was my own birthday. Nikki’s thirtieth year was absolutely the most exciting one of our collective lives yet…she had the cutest son of all time, and I got married (a marginally less exciting event, if I do say so myself.)


Seeing Nikki being a mom has once again prepped me to follow in her footsteps (someday…calm down people!) and know that I’ll have someone to ask a million questions a day. She did the same for me when she got married, when went to college, when she played high school soccer, when she learned what movies were the coolest in the 90s…I could go on, and on, and on. She’s pioneered my life for me in ways I will never even be aware of (like learning how to put your hair in a ponytail without brushing it for 30 minutes first, driving a car, using dry shampoo, having a 9-to-5 job, a 401K) that I just take for granted.



She’s also hilarious. And she doesn’t take any bullshit. And she loves a challenge. She doesn’t like to talk through things – she likes to ACTUALLY do things. She’ll try anything once (or probably, ten times) and she likes just about everyone, everything, and nearly all foods. She’s basically my hero packaged into a tinier blonder version of myself. (Please see below. That is a strangers house where Jeff told us to go get on the bear…so obviously, we did.)



I cannot wait to see what 31 has in store for her, but I know it’s going to be a good one. I can feel it in my bones. Every year is an adventure as part of the Palluzzi clan, and as it expands to bigger and better things (read: marriages and babies and headstands and everyone finally into yoga thank goodness) I am excited every time we celebrate anything together. I can’t wait to sing Happy Birthday to you via video chat, Nikita. Love you ‘round the moon.