Last night you guys, I went running and it was freaking awful. I was so slow, my calves hurt, I kept having to stop and walk, I was hot and cold and sore and tired for no reason. It was only a two mile run and I should have been able to bang it out at my normal pace, and I just knew I was moving terribly slowly.
When I got home, I was tired and grumpy and frustrated, but I knew it all stemmed from my lack of yoga practice lately. When I was talking to T recently, she said something to me about how she always assumed I did yoga because I loved it so much. And I DO love it, so so much, but sometimes you get in a rut. You go to bed late for a week in a row, you get a cold that you can’t shake, and when you get home from a long day at work you want to watch TV or curl up with a book, not sweat it out on a mat.
But the thing is, watching TV and reading never do for my BODY (or, let’s be honest, even my mind) what I need them to. I’m not suggesting they be given up, and I think I’ve written this same post over and over again, because it’s always a struggle. But when I get back to it, and I get into a groove, and I get into a flow, I always, always think, I’ve missed this. So I did a yoga class I do a lot, and I was much more relaxed when I was done.
I got out of work early tonight because the power went out at work, and I was excited because that meant I could catch up on an episode of Law & Order:SVU (I think I might be the only person who still watches this show) AND fit in a yoga class before I had to hop in a car for a few hours off to our Palm Springs adventure.
In the video, which is taught by my fave Canadian, Fiji, she says something that really stuck with me. It’s a video for injury prevention for runners – and she’s talking about injuries, and she says, “Don’t judge yourself for anything that’s happened, any injuries that you may have had. Let those stories go.” That meant a lot to me. Because sometimes when I am training for a race, I sabotage myself you guys. (Doesn’t everyone?) I obsessively track my pace, I am upset when I am slow, I chide myself for being hungry or tired or cranky when I should be training, I panic when I get sick and I’m off a week on my training.
But why? Isn’t this race in a few weeks for me? For my body? To keep me fit and healthy? The only person I want to beat is my 2012 self – which I believe is doable. But you’re always working on getting better and beating yourself up (at least, for me) doesn’t work. You have to be in the moment, in the today, and do the best you can with what you have. That’s all anyone can do. I will have down days. I will have amazing days. I will run 3 miles and have it feel like nothing, and run 1 mile struggling every single step. But coming to the mat – and hitting the pavement – and actually DOING something is what matters.
Show up. Let those stories go. Be here. Be moving forward, always.
Happy Friday folks. Hope you’re in your happy places.