I have been getting a lot questions that are basically this: “Why didn’t you take your husband’s last name, what kind of wife are you?!”
Some are just asking because they’re curious. Others are asking because they’re judging, one way or the other, feminist or traditionalist or what have you. The variations I’ve gotten are, “So what’s your last name now?”, or “What is your new last name?”, or “You didn’t change it?” followed by a silent judging stare…they go on and on, and they’ve kept up even though I’ve been married for almost six months.
Every time I feel just a little more indignant that people (save my close friends/family) even think it’s appropriate to ask that question. I don’t mind if people are like, “What is your email address?” But I mind people placing me in a box that I don’t think should exist.
The reasons are big and small. Here are some of them. I kept my last name:
* Because I said so.
* Because I like it, and my parents gave it to me, and I like them, too.
* Because Nikki did, setting precedent for me to as well.
* Because what? Why is this question even being asked of me?
* Because feminism.
* Because I love my husband more than most things on this planet but I love myself too and Jennie Palluzzi sounds great.
* Because Palluzzi is who I am.
* Because I am the only Jennie Palluzzi.
* Because Palluzzi Pizza, duh.
* Because I am lazy and didn’t want to change anything.
* Because to be honest, I didn’t really think that hard about it. I just thought, “Hey I am getting married.” In my head, marriage is a lot of things, but it’s not my name.
* Because Jeff didn’t mind, either, because the person he fell in love with was Jennie Palluzzi, as it turns out.
Now, if you change your name, awesome for you! If you hyphenate, great! If you have your husband or partner take your name, cool! Do what you want! I don’t care! You be you! CAN I LIVE?
Preach. I didn’t take my husbands last name either. Although, frankly I rather enjoy coming back with a very strong, “because neither one of us like his family.” In fact, he almost took my last name. But he’s not quite THAT feminist 😉
High-fives for laziness and not caring! I wasn’t about to do a bunch of paperwork for no damn reason. I’ve actually been surprised how few people have asked me about it, though.
ugh seriously? people need to mind their own damn business. or maybe travel the world an realize that most people around the world don’t change their last name anymore.
Swedes don’t do it.
Colombians don’t do it. (well side note – they used to add “de HusbandsLastName” but that doesn’t happen anymore. Now that women have more of a voice, they stopped that tradition. “de” basically indicated that man’s wife)
Because having one name doesn’t make you more of a family.
Because growing up my mom didn’t have my same last name. So it’s not weird to me.
Because I’m not changing my identity just because I’m getting married.
Because it’s a free country. LIVE PALLUZZI LIVE!
People at work are already asking me if I’m changing it. I’m like NOPE!
But, like you said, to each their own! Some women have always had it in their minds that their name was temporary until they got married, but that was never me.
That’s one of the few thing the spanish got right, having two last names 😉
I miss my “second” last name.