{"id":4200,"date":"2012-06-29T12:18:16","date_gmt":"2012-06-29T19:18:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jenniepalluzzi.com\/blog\/?p=4200"},"modified":"2012-06-29T12:18:16","modified_gmt":"2012-06-29T19:18:16","slug":"i-can-never-leave-the-past-behindi-can-see-no-way-i-can-see-no-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jenniepalluzzi.com\/blog\/i-can-never-leave-the-past-behindi-can-see-no-way-i-can-see-no-way\/","title":{"rendered":"i can never leave the past behind\/i can see no way (i can see no way)"},"content":{"rendered":"

I remember being in fourth grade and seeing high school girls put there hair up without a brush, and thinking someday I’ll be able to do that<\/em>\u00a0and thinking it was the coolest. I was in modern dance class, before someone eventually told me Jen, you can’t dance.<\/em><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

I remember looking back at my younger cousins and thinking, I can’t believe they’re in high school, where did the time go? They’ve grown so much, and still so young.<\/em><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

I always wanted to live in an apartment, where I could do whatever I wanted and have my own home. I’ve never gone by a single day without thinking how lucky am I that this is mine and I can do whatever I want with it?<\/em><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

I remember seeing my mom cooking in the kitchen, and remember thinking one day, I’ll have my own kitchen<\/em>. I remember the first recipes I used, the first meals I cooked without a recipe. Chocolate Chips Cookies, 3 cups flour, one cup sugar, one cup brown sugar.<\/em>\u00a0I remember knowing once I’d memorized the recipe at fourteen, I’d know it always.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Sometimes, I still have dreams I’m in high school and don’t understand pre-calc, and that I have forgotten my shin guards for final soccer game, and that I can’t seem to find a way home.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

I remember the first day of freshman year, the last day of sophomore year, meeting SS for the first time, starting my relationship with Jeff, thinking I was so old, so grown up, had come so far.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

I look back, knowing I knew nothing, and I still don’t. And I’m still learning. And I’m 26, and still so young <\/em>and will be despite having a car, having an apartment, leading my life the way I want to lead it. Still looking up to those girls who could put their hair up with two movements of their hands.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I remember being in fourth grade and seeing high school girls put there hair up without a brush, and thinking someday I’ll be able to do that\u00a0and thinking it was the coolest. I was in modern dance class, before someone … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[1191],"class_list":["post-4200","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bouncing-about","tag-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jenniepalluzzi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4200","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jenniepalluzzi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jenniepalluzzi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jenniepalluzzi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jenniepalluzzi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4200"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jenniepalluzzi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4200\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4201,"href":"https:\/\/jenniepalluzzi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4200\/revisions\/4201"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jenniepalluzzi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4200"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jenniepalluzzi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4200"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jenniepalluzzi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4200"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}