Assignment 53, from C, with love.<\/p>\n
Ages 3-7<\/strong> Age 11<\/strong> Age 14\/15:<\/strong> Age 16:<\/strong> Age 17:<\/strong> Age 18:<\/strong> Age 19:<\/strong> Assignment 53, from C, with love. Ages 3-7 1. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Be nicer to your mother. Not living with her is the greatest tragedy of her life. Try to soften the blow. Age 11 1. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Lock the patio … Continue reading
\n1. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Be nicer to your mother. Not living with her is the greatest
\ntragedy of her life. Try to soften the blow.<\/p>\n
\n1. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Lock the patio door at your hotel in the Bahamas. Trust me.<\/p>\n
\n1. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Don\u2019t worry so much. Moving is the right decision. Your mother is
\nsad, now, but this will actually make your relationship stronger.
\n2. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Hurting yourself isn\u2019t the answer.
\n3. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Don\u2019t let your mom talk you into using henna hair dye.<\/p>\n
\n1. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Bring condoms to your cousin\u2019s wedding.
\n2. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Do NOT go parking with P.
\n3. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Learn his last name and age, and try not to get so drunk you can\u2019t
\nremember them later.
\n4. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0When A calls you a heartbreaker and says you\u2019re dangerous for him
\nto get involved with, no matter how full of shit you think he is,
\nbelieve him. He\u2019s right.<\/p>\n
\n1. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Make out with J in her car. She wants you to.
\n2. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Tell M that she may not share that bed with you and J. You would
\nlike to be alone thankyouverymuch.
\n3. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Stop talking on the phone with S G. He\u2019s not worth it.
\n4. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Enjoy every second you spend with B. This is what happiness feels
\nlike. Recognize it and file for future use.
\n5. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Do not hook up with T and that college party. It\u2019s gonna be awkward
\nthe WHOLE time you\u2019re at UVA.<\/p>\n
\n1. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0After sleeping with him, don\u2019t assume he\u2019s only interested in you
\nfor sex. He\u2019s not, but he\u2019s going to think that\u2019s all you want if you
\ndon\u2019t make it clear that you\u2019re in love with him. Oh and by the way,
\nyou’re in love with him. You’ll figure it out a little too late.
\n2. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Let B take you to the Prom. Fuck your friends. They\u2019re bitches.
\n3. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Seriously, your two best friends are bitches. Spend more with with
\npeople whose names begin with B.<\/p>\n
\n1. \u00a0 \u00a0 Don’t sleep with R when he’s that drunk.
\n2. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Stop hooking up with boys M likes. She will inexplicably forgive
\nyou, but don\u2019t do it anyway.
\n3. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Don\u2019t do more than make out with Z. And maybe hang out with him a
\nlittle bit afterwards, just to be nice.
\n4. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Don\u2019t go to Harrisonburg with K. Or at least don\u2019t drink tequila
\nwhile you\u2019re there.
\n5. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0GO TO CLASS. STUDY. Even though you feel like shit, something is
\ngoing to happen to make you realize how stupid you\u2019re being.
\n6. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Give B a hug on December 30th and tell her how much you love her
\nand everything her friendship has meant to you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"