Photos by Mary Costa Photography

A few of my friends have gotten engaged in the past few months, and with that my own wedding has come and gone and I realized that I never told you guys how it went, what we did, etc. Probably because during the wedding I figured I’d sound like a stressed out crazy person, and right after I just wanted to relax and be married.

Now that I have gotten some distance from planning, partying, and basking in the glow of the married life, I wanted to give you a glimpse into my wedding and advice for yours (if you ever choose to get married and are thinking “what have I gotten myself into, read on!)

* Enjoy your engagement: We were engaged for almost two years. I loved every second of it, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I would say take a month (or two, or in our case, six!) to enjoy being engaged and the excitement of THAT before you even dive into planning. There are basically two options – you have a long engagement and a wedding planning that’s broken into two parts (big stuff like venue, location, date, then smaller stuff closer to the wedding), or you have a short engagement with no break in between. I loved hammering the big stuff out first then chilling for about six months before really getting into the nitty gritty.

*First thing: set your budget (low!): Unless you’re somehow lucky enough to have no budget, you have to do this part first. Set your budget for 25% less than what you think you can afford because it WILL go up. Talk to the players involved (parents, grandparents, etc.) and figure out what you are spending. Everything else comes after this – you can’t look at locations without knowing what you’re going to spend. And here is the truth – you can get married for $500 or $500,000, so nothing is too small – don’t freak yourself out about it too much. Weddings can be very expensive, but they also can be gorgeous on a budget.

* Think about the 3 most important things: Think about the top three things that are important to you, and ask your fiance to do the same. For us, it was food, location, and dance time. That’ll help you identify where to spend the most on your wedding, and where you can cut corners. For example, I wasn’t super into a really fancy wedding dress, I didn’t feel like we needed a video (so we had a friend shoot one, thanks Megan!), but I knew that I wanted a DJ that would play what I wanted to hear and I knew that I wanted to get married outside. Figure out what these things are from the beginning and it’ll make planning a breeze.

*Identify your “events” surrounding the wedding: Nowadays people live all over and if you’re like me, you probably don’t have tons of money to just fly willy nilly all over the country (you’re saving for a  wedding, for goodness sake!) So figure out your expectations around the wedding first. Do you need t00o have a bachelorette or bachelor party with ALL wedding party present? Do you want a shower? Do you want to go dress shopping with your family? Do you want a big rehearsal dinner? Do you want a brunch the next day? Do you want to go straight on your honeymoon? Think about these things so you can work within your budget and your friends budgets – be respectful of your bridal party’s time, too! We had a small shower in Chicago with a rolled in bach dinner, and I had a bach weekend with my ladies in LA, which was all perfect!

* DIYing: If you’re DIY-ing everything, spread out the tasks so that each friend is doing one small thing. This helped us immensely at our wedding – Traci made our seating chart, Ellen did the table numbers, Corelyn and Melissa did the burlap/lace table clothes, Kylah was in charge of day-of flowers, and we all pitched in to make the bouquets and boutonnieres (well most my dad, but that’s ok). Plus, it was amazing to see all the crafts come together the day of – really special and humbling to see all the work my friends put in to the wedding!

* Remember it’s your wedding: Don’t give into wedding hype if you’re not into certain things (themes, wedding colors, favors, etc.) We had white linen at the wedding. We didn’t have a champagne toast. We didn’t do favors or seating cards. And it was all fine – people toasted with whatever they were drinking, we had a seating chart, and nobody even noticed. If you have something you care about, awesome. But if you’re not that into it, chances are you don’t need the “extras.” You also want the wedding to be personal to you – so remember that if you do want wedding colors and favors, and hand-written seating cards then you should have those things. See “think about the 3 most important things.”

* Things will go wrong – but it’s ok!: Things inevitably will go wrong, but they will be minor – as long as you let them be. We had a couple mishaps (Lauren in fact was the one who reminded me she forgot her bridesmaid dress) but it was fine. She got another dress. She still made the rehearsal dinner. If you just realize the day will be amazing no matter what, then mishaps will surely be breezed over.

I definitely have more advice specific and general, but this is getting long, so I’ll stop here. I will say this – email me or call me (or come over, let’s be real) and we can talk more. Let me know if you need helping planning your wedding (several of you engaged ladies know who you are who I’ve been harassing to give me assignments) and let me know if you have questions. I have a killer spreadsheet. Corelyn (for those of you who know her) was a great resource, too. Just remember this – your wedding is a start to your marriage. It’s a celebration of all that’s happened and all yet to come. It’s a day to remember for certain, and it will be beautiful.