i can never leave the past behind/i can see no way (i can see no way)

I remember being in fourth grade and seeing high school girls put there hair up without a brush, and thinking someday I’ll be able to do that and thinking it was the coolest. I was in modern dance class, before someone eventually told me Jen, you can’t dance.


I remember looking back at my younger cousins and thinking, I can’t believe they’re in high school, where did the time go? They’ve grown so much, and still so young.


I always wanted to live in an apartment, where I could do whatever I wanted and have my own home. I’ve never gone by a single day without thinking how lucky am I that this is mine and I can do whatever I want with it?


I remember seeing my mom cooking in the kitchen, and remember thinking one day, I’ll have my own kitchen. I remember the first recipes I used, the first meals I cooked without a recipe. Chocolate Chips Cookies, 3 cups flour, one cup sugar, one cup brown sugar. I remember knowing once I’d memorized the recipe at fourteen, I’d know it always.


Sometimes, I still have dreams I’m in high school and don’t understand pre-calc, and that I have forgotten my shin guards for final soccer game, and that I can’t seem to find a way home.


I remember the first day of freshman year, the last day of sophomore year, meeting SS for the first time, starting my relationship with Jeff, thinking I was so old, so grown up, had come so far.


I look back, knowing I knew nothing, and I still don’t. And I’m still learning. And I’m 26, and still so young and will be despite having a car, having an apartment, leading my life the way I want to lead it. Still looking up to those girls who could put their hair up with two movements of their hands.


if nothing else, i am myself/it’s all i have to give

This is the view from the beach last weekend. There is sand in every bag that’s been in my car in the past two weeks. There is probably sand in my bed, on my floors, in the cracks of tiles in my kitchen. And I love it.

This is the iced coffee I’ve been sipping for the past three weeks. This week we’ve had no marine layer, no June Gloom, just sun as far as you can see until eight forty five each night.

This is the wrap I got from Cafe Gratitude this week. It was called, “I AM HAPPY” and I was and I am. Becca said it was the best food she’d ever had, and I must say between the company and the food and the warmth of the restaurant, it was definitely on top of my list.

This is a list of the vegetables currently in my house. I love summer, I love stone fruit season, I love avocados that are five for two dollars, and I love the farmer’s market.

This CD. On repeat. You’d better watch it, I think that girl’s insane…



leavin’ you makes me want to die.

Chicks, we’ve made it to Friday. And although it’s only 9:30, I am sure this day will go smoothly and soon I will be cruising in to Saturday, beach, sun, and waves.

Despite the fact that we’re smack in the middle of June Gloom.

This is the view from my office window as we speak. The marine layer should burn off by noon, which is my thinking for tomorrow when we head to Zuma beach.

This is Zuma beach. It’s a great beach to spend a Saturday on. It’s up in Malibu, and it’s quite, clean, and the sand and surf are pristine, calm, and yet full of energy.

I plan on reading most of the book club, catching on National Geographic, and doing a crossword puzzle. And wearing my new bathing suit. And swimming. And listening to tunes. Preferably Martha’s Vineyard radio.

Sunday brings farmers market, cleaning.up.our.act, massages, and maybe laundry if we’re feeling particularly adventurous.

What are y’all doing this weekend?



the hook brings you back

Well friends, we stand at the end of Wednesday, but my week is about to get more hectic. Two days of craziness are about to descend on me, starting with a 14 hour work day tomorrow and ending with a Friday that will surely bring me to a margarita (please? anyone?)

The sun is shining, the weather is turning up, and a beach waits for me on Saturday, so I can’t complain too much.

I crafted at work today.

This is my new plant, Merv. He’s a succulent, and for that, I thank him. He’ll most like not die, despite the office’s tendency to get hot in the afternoon.

This is the frame I made. I will be adding a photo later, as it was still drying at this point.

It was a nice break from the pace of work (crazy) and fun to see the creative and crafty side of work friends coming out! And now I have someone to talk to (kidding!)

Here’s to two busy days, then a weekend of bliss!


5gts: Birthday edition.

1. This post from Ms. Mary. She’s the best, and I love that our birthdays are so close together!

2. Jeff got me an Instax camera for my birthday after I lusted after Mary’s.

Now I’ll have my own instant photos!!

3. Birthday bonfire = success. Pictures to come, but I had an excellent time running amok at the beach with twenty of my best friends.

4.Melissa cross stitched this for me. Because she’s simply the best person.

5. My cards, on my memory board: