I’m done with pumping as of yesterday. It’s sucked up so much energy during the day for the past months while I balance work and home life, and after my surgery, my supply was down. It seemed like a natural point – Ollie’s 10 months tomorrow – to just nurse morning and night. With Evie, I nursed four-ish times a day until she started daycare at a year; but once she started going, I didn’t pump to make up for it. I nursed her until two and a half, well into our global pandemic life, and would be happy to do the same with Ollie. But the pumping multiple times a day while trying to work a meeting heavy job is not for me anymore. And that’s ok. Balancing combo feeding (aka some formula and some breastmilk) is what works for us. And so, we shift energy to other things.
I got my gallbladder out this week and I’ve done some more sleeping and some more resting and sitting. When I am healing I tend to pull back from all things and bubble myself into a time. A book, a story, a show. Nothing too contemporary, nothing in the news. Certainly no email. No newsletters. Some mindless internet scrolling to be sure, but nothing below the surface because I am living in the moment.
I once had a boss who told me she didn’t understand I truly needed to disconnect over the weekend. I think it was that job and that role but it still is true – I shut down parts of my world when I’m focusing on others. I don’t know how to float between both, so I do a complete switch and can’t lift the veil until I’m meant to be fully somewhere else.
So before I get back into the world, for now I am reading, drinking coffee, and noticing the nature, as always. I hope you are too.