on why i kept my name.

I have been getting a lot questions that are basically this: “Why didn’t you take your husband’s last name, what kind of wife are you?!”

Some are just asking because they’re curious. Others are asking because they’re judging, one way or the other, feminist or traditionalist or what have you. The variations I’ve gotten are, “So what’s your last name now?”, or “What is your new last name?”, or “You didn’t change it?” followed by a silent judging stare…they go on and on, and they’ve kept up even though I’ve been married for almost six months.

Every time I feel just a little more indignant that people (save my close friends/family) even think it’s appropriate to ask that question. I don’t mind if people are like, “What is your email address?” But I mind people placing me in a box that I don’t think should exist.

The reasons are big and small. Here are some of them. I kept my last name:

* Because I said so.
* Because I like it, and my parents gave it to me, and I like them, too.
* Because Nikki did, setting precedent for me to as well.
* Because what? Why is this question even being asked of me?
* Because feminism.
* Because I love my husband more than most things on this planet but I love myself too and Jennie Palluzzi sounds great.
* Because Palluzzi is who I am.
* Because I am the only Jennie Palluzzi.
* Because Palluzzi Pizza, duh.
* Because I am lazy and didn’t want to change anything.
* Because to be honest, I didn’t really think that hard about it. I just thought, “Hey I am getting married.” In my head, marriage is a lot of things, but it’s not my name.
* Because Jeff didn’t mind, either, because the person he fell in love with was Jennie Palluzzi, as it turns out.

Now, if you change your name, awesome for you! If you hyphenate, great! If you have your husband or partner take your name, cool! Do what you want! I don’t care! You be you! CAN I LIVE?

forgive, let live, and move on.

here are some good things: sunshine at lunch. cooper the dog greeting me at the end of the day. dinner on my plate every night, coffee in my cup every morning. friends that are family and family that are friends and blurring the line between. trips to big bear and out of the fast-pasted city. snuggling after dinner while watching tv. mason jars and cooking with my self or my friends.

here are some bad things: low voter turnout, the reports out of ferguson, the reports out of skid row, that works comp doesn’t cover people’s needs when they are injured on the job, that businesses work the way they do and don’t care about people, global warming, winter lasting forever, droughts flaming up and down california, glorified villains and marginalized heros.

here is what i know: we made this world. we will take ourselves out of it. we will also change it, for the better some days, for the worse on others. today is an inbetween today. i hope tomorrow is a better one. and that better ones follow and follow and swallow up ‘status quo’ and ‘because’ and ‘i never thought of that’ and are replaced with ‘what about this’ and ‘well i don’t like that so imma change it’ and ‘i just though of something brilliant.’

happy thursday, chickens. may you wrestle with life today and come out on the other side stronger and clearer in your convictions with a smile on your face.