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Wednesday is….(a guest post)

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Cor, who maintains the other half of Garlic, My Soul, had something to say about a hectic Wednesday:

This Wednesday is:

6 AM. Nope not getting up yet. Snooze. 6:50 AM. I guess I should get up now. Well, just a few minutes more. 8 AM. Crap. Could’ve seen that one coming. Checking e-mails while brushing my teeth. Rehearsal dinner fallout. My sister is fed up. Wait, things looking up, second email from sister includes an “lol.” Family is making nice. Thank God. Sad update e-mail from M. MR has already responded to her with encouragement. Good. Shifting gears to check work e-mail. Nothing urgent. Whew. In the car at 8:40. Calling M . Sorry if I wasn’t the right kind of supportive when we talked last night. It’s ok. MR is visiting. Mental note to check flight costs to Roanoke. She should get back to work. Ok, I’ll check in later, I love you, bye. Sudden realization that people still need to lean on me, even while I’m leaning on others. I can do this. “I will carry you there” followed by “I will come to you.” Thank you iPod. I can definitely do this. Get to work at 9:30. Quick stop for coffee and scone. Still no urgent work e-mails. Whew again. E-mail from Jennie. “Where are you?” Panic. “I’m here! What is it?” Bed bugs. Effing bed bugs. Eww. Gross. More panic. Research. Strategizing. 9:50 AM. E-mail to C about the bed bug situation. C rolls with the punches. That’s why we love her. 10:00 AM. Virtual hugs for M in the form of Hanson songs and videos about the bonds of women. More bed bug panic. It just doesn’t stop being icky. Start a playlist for M. 10:30. Another M e-mail update. Things are looking slightly better. Talking to my sister about the wedding. Half a Xanax. Pandora. Oh right, I’m at work. Cross a few things off the to-do list. Bed bug update. Exterminator coming tomorrow. Sister’s wedding update. She’s dealing with it. 11 AM. More planning for tonight with C. She does NOT do tofu. Hilarious. Almost time for lunch. Back to work, first. Can you find the expense code for our team meetings? Yes. Found. Thank you! Male coworkers have suspiciously disappeared to watch world cup game. Wish I could get away with that. Lunch time finally. Heading to the café with coworker L. Meatball sandwiches, REALLY? Oh no, we can’t eat all that. WAIT! We can split it! Genius. Sample request frustration segues into venting fest about Kaiser Permanente insurance. 1:00 PM all the sudden. I think I need more coffee….

Guest Post: a love named C.

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Assignment 53, from C, with love.

Ages 3-7
1.      Be nicer to your mother. Not living with her is the greatest
tragedy of her life. Try to soften the blow.

Age 11
1.      Lock the patio door at your hotel in the Bahamas. Trust me.

Age 14/15:
1.      Don’t worry so much. Moving is the right decision. Your mother is
sad, now, but this will actually make your relationship stronger.
2.      Hurting yourself isn’t the answer.
3.      Don’t let your mom talk you into using henna hair dye.

Age 16:
1.      Bring condoms to your cousin’s wedding.
2.      Do NOT go parking with P.
3.      Learn his last name and age, and try not to get so drunk you can’t
remember them later.
4.      When A calls you a heartbreaker and says you’re dangerous for him
to get involved with, no matter how full of shit you think he is,
believe him. He’s right.

Age 17:
1.      Make out with J in her car. She wants you to.
2.      Tell M that she may not share that bed with you and J. You would
like to be alone thankyouverymuch.
3.      Stop talking on the phone with S G. He’s not worth it.
4.      Enjoy every second you spend with B. This is what happiness feels
like. Recognize it and file for future use.
5.      Do not hook up with T and that college party. It’s gonna be awkward
the WHOLE time you’re at UVA.

Age 18:
1.      After sleeping with him, don’t assume he’s only interested in you
for sex. He’s not, but he’s going to think that’s all you want if you
don’t make it clear that you’re in love with him. Oh and by the way,
you’re in love with him. You’ll figure it out a little too late.
2.      Let B take you to the Prom. Fuck your friends. They’re bitches.
3.      Seriously, your two best friends are bitches. Spend more with with
people whose names begin with B.

Age 19:
1.     Don’t sleep with R when he’s that drunk.
2.      Stop hooking up with boys M likes. She will inexplicably forgive
you, but don’t do it anyway.
3.      Don’t do more than make out with Z. And maybe hang out with him a
little bit afterwards, just to be nice.
4.      Don’t go to Harrisonburg with K. Or at least don’t drink tequila
while you’re there.
5.      GO TO CLASS. STUDY. Even though you feel like shit, something is
going to happen to make you realize how stupid you’re being.
6.      Give B a hug on December 30th and tell her how much you love her
and everything her friendship has meant to you.