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Guest Post: a love named C.

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Assignment 53, from C, with love.

Ages 3-7
1.      Be nicer to your mother. Not living with her is the greatest
tragedy of her life. Try to soften the blow.

Age 11
1.      Lock the patio door at your hotel in the Bahamas. Trust me.

Age 14/15:
1.      Don’t worry so much. Moving is the right decision. Your mother is
sad, now, but this will actually make your relationship stronger.
2.      Hurting yourself isn’t the answer.
3.      Don’t let your mom talk you into using henna hair dye.

Age 16:
1.      Bring condoms to your cousin’s wedding.
2.      Do NOT go parking with P.
3.      Learn his last name and age, and try not to get so drunk you can’t
remember them later.
4.      When A calls you a heartbreaker and says you’re dangerous for him
to get involved with, no matter how full of shit you think he is,
believe him. He’s right.

Age 17:
1.      Make out with J in her car. She wants you to.
2.      Tell M that she may not share that bed with you and J. You would
like to be alone thankyouverymuch.
3.      Stop talking on the phone with S G. He’s not worth it.
4.      Enjoy every second you spend with B. This is what happiness feels
like. Recognize it and file for future use.
5.      Do not hook up with T and that college party. It’s gonna be awkward
the WHOLE time you’re at UVA.

Age 18:
1.      After sleeping with him, don’t assume he’s only interested in you
for sex. He’s not, but he’s going to think that’s all you want if you
don’t make it clear that you’re in love with him. Oh and by the way,
you’re in love with him. You’ll figure it out a little too late.
2.      Let B take you to the Prom. Fuck your friends. They’re bitches.
3.      Seriously, your two best friends are bitches. Spend more with with
people whose names begin with B.

Age 19:
1.     Don’t sleep with R when he’s that drunk.
2.      Stop hooking up with boys M likes. She will inexplicably forgive
you, but don’t do it anyway.
3.      Don’t do more than make out with Z. And maybe hang out with him a
little bit afterwards, just to be nice.
4.      Don’t go to Harrisonburg with K. Or at least don’t drink tequila
while you’re there.
5.      GO TO CLASS. STUDY. Even though you feel like shit, something is
going to happen to make you realize how stupid you’re being.
6.      Give B a hug on December 30th and tell her how much you love her
and everything her friendship has meant to you.

Save the Earth.

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save-the-earth

5 Ways to Save the Earth every day — from your desk!

1.Turn off your monitor when you leave your desk for more than a few seconds. It saves energy. Also, when you go home for the night, don’t forget to turn your speakers off if they are separate!

2. Use Blackle instead of Google.

3. If you drink a lot of water at your desk, bring a reusable water bottle instead of plastic ones. You may have to search out a bubbler, but Mother Earth will thank you for saving her from the plastic.

4. Use a travel mug to bring tea/coffee to the office, and leave a mug there for tea/coffee at work. I have a few of each, in case I leave a travel mug at work, and I try to use one for tea and one for coffee because coffee smell tends to hang out.

5. Use paperclips instead of staples. I have this paperclip holder on my desk! Or a stapleless stapler!

Bonus: Reuse the paper you use to printer out directions, lists, emails, etc. etc. If you use both side of each piece, think of all the paper that won’t be made into trees.

A life update, with pictures to come!

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So I am without my pictures right now, but I will update you with them later today.

For now, here’s an update:

1. Soccer — Last week I was sick on Tuesday, and tonight my team has a game, so there was no practice. As I am not technically on the team yet, this means I have missed 2 weeks of soccer (I usually can’t make it to games.) This is a bummer, and I haven’t done much physical activity in the past few weeks because I have been sick. But I’m almost over it, now.

2. Writing — After the fiasco at the place I was writing for a few weeks ago, I have gotten discouraged, but have not given up. I am looking for another paper or magazine to free lance for. More to come.

3. Coaching/volunteering — I have become a volleyball coach, and our first game is this weekend. I have to do something cool like call my team and let them know about practice. I should also probably look up some drills, on account of the fact that I have never coached volleyball before. We’ll see how that goes.

4. Free coffee — I have found a place at my job that provides coffee. Who knew? Not me. Yes, free coffee every other morning, I would like you to fill my giant mug. Thanks for asking.

5. Life in general — I’ve been watching lots of Everwood, as well as reading a lot. I’m trying to get on top of my stuff, but a new Real Simple rolled in yesterday, so it’s about time for a break…

And now, a glam shot from the photo shoot:

me1

Sick. Sick. Sick.

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Hi guys!

Turns out this weekend ended up being my sick weekend. From Saturday to Tuesday I was lying on the couch, and now I sit at work with my ear clogged so I hear everything with an echo.

A quick update in 5 things:

1. I am working in a different office which means I am constantly surrounded by children, work, and teachers. It’s good, busy, and productive.

2. I am now a volleyball coach. I went to help out this weekend and did well with the kids, so the Coach asked if I could be a volleyball coach since there were tons of soccer coaches. I said “Yes, of course!” Do I know anything about volleyball? No…but I am good enough at it. Bump, set, spike!

3. I wrote an article. It was for Valley Scene Magazine. I don’t live in the Valley, but I do frequent it a lot.  Check it out.

4. I missed practice this week because I was sick. It was a bummer, but hopefully  by next week I’ll be able to get back out there.

5. Easter is this weekend! And Jeff’s special day on Saturday. It’s a surprise, so I can’t tell you what it is, but you’ll think it’s cool, too. I’ll let you know after it’s over.