on why i kept my name.

I have been getting a lot questions that are basically this: “Why didn’t you take your husband’s last name, what kind of wife are you?!”

Some are just asking because they’re curious. Others are asking because they’re judging, one way or the other, feminist or traditionalist or what have you. The variations I’ve gotten are, “So what’s your last name now?”, or “What is your new last name?”, or “You didn’t change it?” followed by a silent judging stare…they go on and on, and they’ve kept up even though I’ve been married for almost six months.

Every time I feel just a little more indignant that people (save my close friends/family) even think it’s appropriate to ask that question. I don’t mind if people are like, “What is your email address?” But I mind people placing me in a box that I don’t think should exist.

The reasons are big and small. Here are some of them. I kept my last name:

* Because I said so.
* Because I like it, and my parents gave it to me, and I like them, too.
* Because Nikki did, setting precedent for me to as well.
* Because what? Why is this question even being asked of me?
* Because feminism.
* Because I love my husband more than most things on this planet but I love myself too and Jennie Palluzzi sounds great.
* Because Palluzzi is who I am.
* Because I am the only Jennie Palluzzi.
* Because Palluzzi Pizza, duh.
* Because I am lazy and didn’t want to change anything.
* Because to be honest, I didn’t really think that hard about it. I just thought, “Hey I am getting married.” In my head, marriage is a lot of things, but it’s not my name.
* Because Jeff didn’t mind, either, because the person he fell in love with was Jennie Palluzzi, as it turns out.

Now, if you change your name, awesome for you! If you hyphenate, great! If you have your husband or partner take your name, cool! Do what you want! I don’t care! You be you! CAN I LIVE?

When two people meet, each one is changed by the other so you’ve got two new people.

The title of this post is a quote from John Steinbeck, an author my dad and sister and I have been slowly reading through for the past nine years, ever since we headed to San Francisco on a family vacation.

I think it’s fitting for my dad, who turns 50 today. He’s the type of person that learns from everyone he meets, who is constantly looking for knowledge from people, places, classes, the Internet, and beyond.

I wrote about my dad recently when I was helping him raise money for his Heart Walk, so hopefully you already know all about him. He’s a delight to have as a father, a medical professional, and a friend who you can always call for a laugh, or advice, or just to talk.  I am so lucky to have him around!

This is a picture of my dad and me, circa 2008, when he was in town for my college graduation.

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