Author Archives: sorellaaglio

a beautiful start to a lifelong love letter

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Photos by Mary Costa Photography

A few of my friends have gotten engaged in the past few months, and with that my own wedding has come and gone and I realized that I never told you guys how it went, what we did, etc. Probably because during the wedding I figured I’d sound like a stressed out crazy person, and right after I just wanted to relax and be married.

Now that I have gotten some distance from planning, partying, and basking in the glow of the married life, I wanted to give you a glimpse into my wedding and advice for yours (if you ever choose to get married and are thinking “what have I gotten myself into, read on!)

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* Enjoy your engagement: We were engaged for almost two years. I loved every second of it, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I would say take a month (or two, or in our case, six!) to enjoy being engaged and the excitement of THAT before you even dive into planning. There are basically two options – you have a long engagement and a wedding planning that’s broken into two parts (big stuff like venue, location, date, then smaller stuff closer to the wedding), or you have a short engagement with no break in between. I loved hammering the big stuff out first then chilling for about six months before really getting into the nitty gritty.

*First thing: set your budget (low!): Unless you’re somehow lucky enough to have no budget, you have to do this part first. Set your budget for 25% less than what you think you can afford because it WILL go up. Talk to the players involved (parents, grandparents, etc.) and figure out what you are spending. Everything else comes after this – you can’t look at locations without knowing what you’re going to spend. And here is the truth – you can get married for $500 or $500,000, so nothing is too small – don’t freak yourself out about it too much. Weddings can be very expensive, but they also can be gorgeous on a budget.

* Think about the 3 most important things: Think about the top three things that are important to you, and ask your fiance to do the same. For us, it was food, location, and dance time. That’ll help you identify where to spend the most on your wedding, and where you can cut corners. For example, I wasn’t super into a really fancy wedding dress, I didn’t feel like we needed a video (so we had a friend shoot one, thanks Megan!), but I knew that I wanted a DJ that would play what I wanted to hear and I knew that I wanted to get married outside. Figure out what these things are from the beginning and it’ll make planning a breeze.

*Identify your “events” surrounding the wedding: Nowadays people live all over and if you’re like me, you probably don’t have tons of money to just fly willy nilly all over the country (you’re saving for a  wedding, for goodness sake!) So figure out your expectations around the wedding first. Do you need t00o have a bachelorette or bachelor party with ALL wedding party present? Do you want a shower? Do you want to go dress shopping with your family? Do you want a big rehearsal dinner? Do you want a brunch the next day? Do you want to go straight on your honeymoon? Think about these things so you can work within your budget and your friends budgets – be respectful of your bridal party’s time, too! We had a small shower in Chicago with a rolled in bach dinner, and I had a bach weekend with my ladies in LA, which was all perfect!

* DIYing: If you’re DIY-ing everything, spread out the tasks so that each friend is doing one small thing. This helped us immensely at our wedding – Traci made our seating chart, Ellen did the table numbers, Corelyn and Melissa did the burlap/lace table clothes, Kylah was in charge of day-of flowers, and we all pitched in to make the bouquets and boutonnieres (well most my dad, but that’s ok). Plus, it was amazing to see all the crafts come together the day of – really special and humbling to see all the work my friends put in to the wedding!

* Remember it’s your wedding: Don’t give into wedding hype if you’re not into certain things (themes, wedding colors, favors, etc.) We had white linen at the wedding. We didn’t have a champagne toast. We didn’t do favors or seating cards. And it was all fine – people toasted with whatever they were drinking, we had a seating chart, and nobody even noticed. If you have something you care about, awesome. But if you’re not that into it, chances are you don’t need the “extras.” You also want the wedding to be personal to you – so remember that if you do want wedding colors and favors, and hand-written seating cards then you should have those things. See “think about the 3 most important things.”

* Things will go wrong – but it’s ok!: Things inevitably will go wrong, but they will be minor – as long as you let them be. We had a couple mishaps (Lauren in fact was the one who reminded me she forgot her bridesmaid dress) but it was fine. She got another dress. She still made the rehearsal dinner. If you just realize the day will be amazing no matter what, then mishaps will surely be breezed over.

I definitely have more advice specific and general, but this is getting long, so I’ll stop here. I will say this – email me or call me (or come over, let’s be real) and we can talk more. Let me know if you need helping planning your wedding (several of you engaged ladies know who you are who I’ve been harassing to give me assignments) and let me know if you have questions. I have a killer spreadsheet. Corelyn (for those of you who know her) was a great resource, too. Just remember this – your wedding is a start to your marriage. It’s a celebration of all that’s happened and all yet to come. It’s a day to remember for certain, and it will be beautiful.

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2014 // In Music

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2014 was a slow year in music for me, but when I looked back over the year, I remember a lot of albums I had on repeat throughout the spring and summer. Most of you know that my taste in music is “90s bands you think had 1 hit but have 15 albums and maybe switched genres and make one or two solo albums” such as Hootie & the Blowfish, Hanson (Taylor joined another band for a minute), Josh Kelley, and Train. I also love most pop music, singer/songwriters, and have a soft spot for quick lyrics and Christian rock.

I listened to Ed’s X on repeat pretty much all year round, because so many of the songs are so fun – and I learned all the words to Don’t. Jesse McCartney’s album kept me going during the 10k run in December, and keep me dancing on my 30 mile commute. Obviously despite Taylor not being on Spotify I listened to her tunes over and over and over in the kitchen. Needtobreathe was for photo editing, and Maroon 5 was generally rallying music – except Leaving California which just pulls at my heart strings. Marc’s Hurricane Heart on his newest album just makes me cry no matter what, and everything about Jason’s Back to the Earth makes me smile wide.

Here are the albums I loved this year along with the tracks that I wore out on my CDs (you think I’m joking…)

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Ed Sheeran – X
Tenerife Sea & Photograph & Thinking Out Loud

Jesse-McCartney-In-Technicolor-Album-CoverJesse McCartney – In Technicolor
Back Together & Young Love

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Taylor Swift – 1989
How You Get the Girl & Shake it Off

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Needtobreathe – Rivers in Wasteland 
Multiplied & The Heart

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Maroon 5 – V
Leaving California & In Your Pocket

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Marc Broussard – A Life Worth Living
Hurricane Heart & Perfect to Me

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Jason Mraz – YES!
Hello, You Beautiful Thing & Back to the Earth

come build me up // come shed your light

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I love new year’s. I love a new start. I love a new planner. I love a chance to start fresh, keeping in mind everything that happened last year and beyond. I love organizing things and organizing life into months and years is just so convenient, don’t you think?

Last year I made some new year’s resolutions, and some I kept and some I didn’t. I’m reupping several, therefore, to hope to make them this year, and adding some new ones for good measure. I like the idea of vague goals for some things (more free time) and concrete goals for others (300 miles to run). So without further ado, here are my goals.

  • read 52 books (I read 26 last year, half of my goal, but double the year before)
  • find more free time for walking, wandering, laughing, sunshine, giggling, and Scrabble (guys, I am the queen of overbooking, in case you didn’t know)
  • run 300 miles (I ran 107 and 2014. Let’s hope this summer isn’t hella hot and I can actually run outside from May to September, or find a gym to join I like)
  • do an unassisted headstand (which goes hand and hand with more yoga and killer arms and shoulders, please thank you)
  • move (we have been trying to move for literally four years, and I can feel in my bones 2015 is the year of the house)
  • reevaluate my recipe wheelhouse (the thing about having a food blog is you tend to make things either once or over and over and over again. If I feed Corelyn chicken quesadillas one more time I think she’s going to leave me, so we’d better find some new fun things Jeff will eat that are also healthy – and quick!)

Here’s to 2015. Here’s to adventuring and friends’ weddings and camping and sunshine and running and laughing and playing and fun. Happy New Year, lovelies – may your first weekend of the year be as cleansing as mine.

xo

 

that’s why Rosa sat on the bus/that’s why we walk through Ferguson with our hands up

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selma

I saw the movie Selma two nights ago and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I’ve been thinking about Eric Garner and Michael Brown and all of the other senseless killings that have happened and will happen since people marched in Selma, Alabama.

2014 has been a year of awakening for me and those around me in the world of feminism and racism and bigotry. It’s always been there – that we know. Every year there are senseless acts of violence all around us that have to do with all kinds of isms that make me feel so dispirited about the human condition. But this year, I know I stood up more and said, “No you don’t know what it’s like. Let me show you.”

I walked home from the movie theater at 10:00 pm after seeing Selma. I had my headphones on low because it was 10:00 pm, and I live in Hollywood, and I am a woman. Maybe if I was a man I’d do the same, I don’t know, but I only know my own experience: as a woman, I have to be looking out constantly for what’s around me. I check in front of me and behind me, side to side, I keep my head up and keep my eyes alert.

I know my own neighborhood, and I never felt unsafe on the fifteen minute walk home, but all women can attest that not only do you notice the faces around you (check out this post for a perfect explanation) because there could be danger anywhere, but also because of the little voice in the back of your head where you hear the questions people would ask if you were assaulted or worse: “Well, what was she wearing? Did she have headphones in? Why was she walking alone? Was she even looking around her? Did she have her phone out?”

I take this experience of walking home alone at 10:00 pm in a crowded city in yoga pants with headphones on, and I think about what it’d be like to be African-American, or any minority or anyone that looks different and think about the fact that they live with that every day. Every minute. Day or night, sunshine or not.

They think about what they look like. Who’s around them. What will be said if something happens to them. “Well what was he wearing, a hoodie? Who wears a hoodie? Were his pants on low? Did she defend herself with words? Did he reach at our around his waist or anywhere in his jacket or his shirt or in any way do a otherwise normal human action that would indicate that maybe he had a gun? Did she speak directly to the cop instead of getting on the ground immediately, hands up, despite not actually having done anything illegal?”

It’s tiring, you guys. It’s tiring to live in a world where the media tells women that they should be confident in a mini skirt but not too confident, because boys can’t help themselves, after all. It’s tiring to see another person pulled over because they look “off” to a police officer. It’s tiring to know that kids are getting shot for having fake guns (that we tell them it’s OK to own) and that they’re getting shot for having no guns at all. For walking in the street.

It’s tiring for people to blame it on the fact that they talked back to a cop (I mean, let’s be real, who hasn’t? Erin and Shane can back me up that cop in Meijer circa 2003 was being a jerk). It’s tiring to hear people blame it on the fact that maybe he had a little marijuana on him, or she was friends with drug dealers, or generally was a “bad seed.” Victim blaming is hateful, despicable, and ignorant.

We’re on the edge of 2015. Selma happened 50 years ago. 50 YEARS AGO. How are we still here? That’s not to say we haven’t made progress, because obviously we have. That President Barack Obama was elected is just one small testament to the fact that we’ve been fighting and working as a people to make changes. But we have so much further to go. Women deserve to be treated equally. Minorities deserve to be treated equally. EVERYONE deserves to be treated equally.

It’s easy to give up. It’s easy to say “Not me, I have a life and I’m doing that and ignoring the rest.” But as I heard on the radio this morning: to give up is a luxury. Because there are people who can’t ignore what’s going on, myself included. Because we live it, every day. I take the minuscule times a day I feel less than because I am a woman, and I can’t help but think enough is enough.

Enough is enough, you guys. Let’s make 2015 count. All (wo)men created equal. All men created equal. Let’s stand up in 2015. Let’s make changes. Let’s question authority and establishment, and status quo. Let’s finish what Jimmie Lee Jackson, and Martin Luther King, and Rosa Parks, and Viola Liuzzo started. #marchon

what humans could be.

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The past few weeks have been uplifting and heartbreaking all at the same time. I’ve kept quiet because every time I write something pertaining to the police brutality or the killings in Pakistan or really, all over the globe, or the beheadings of journalists…I just don’t know how to say all I’m feeling and wishing and hoping. So I stay quiet, and I try to do best by the people I interact with every day, because I feel like that’s all I can do.

But I’ve been reading and listening a lot. I find when something makes me emotional, reading others’ opinions on the facts always shows me that people at the root of it, are good, and they have similar feelings to me, and they make me think, and that, if nothing else, helps calm my soul.

So here’s an article that just calls it like it is about Hollywood. Here’s a quote that really meant something to me, “You’re telling me no Mexicans are qualified to do anything at a studio? Really? Nothing but mop up? What are the odds that that’s true? The odds are, because people are people, that there’s probably a Mexican David Geffen mopping up for somebody’s company right now. The odds are that there’s probably a Mexican who’s that smart who’s never going to be given a shot.”

And here’s another thing: every Friday, at 7:25 (ish), my local NPR station (what what KPCC!) plays a Story Corps podcast. Most Fridays, I am in the car at this time, waiting for the moment, and nine times out of ten, it makes me cry – because humans are awful, or because humans are compassionate, or because humans are just so cruel/amazing/the worst. Now, usually I just tear up, but I’ll tell you something, this story just made me sob.

Because you guys,  how awesome is it that this air force colonel not only went with the idea that he was Santa, but he also called the radio station to say that the AIR FORCE WAS SEEING A SLEIGH. That, my friends, is just amazing. So many people in this world do really important life changing stuff, but sometimes it’s just how you treat others (whether they’re children or not) that is what you’re remembered for.

Also let’s take a minute for Serial being over.

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But seriously, go listen to RadioLab to fill the void. Just as interesting, usually with better endings (no offense to Sarah, we knew what we were getting ourselves into.)

At the end of a long week, at the end of a rambling blog post about many things large and small, I am signing off to go to bed to catch a plane to Chicago to see the family. I hope that you’re having a good holiday season, and that you can take some time to reflect on the events of humanity and just, for a second, breathe deep and help out a fellow human. I wish, as always, for peace this season.