Palluzzi Points: Blast from the Past

It seems history has a tendency to repeat itself. Way back in 2004, when I was in high school, I had a column in the weekly town paper called “Palluzzi Points.” I know, original. I would write my opinion glaringly like only a high school student could. I’ve talked about one before – the time I wrote a post about marriage equality and the response I got that shocked me. Although I cringe at some of my writing, the decision to pull the Confederate Flag down from the state house in South Carolina reminded me of one in particular that I had my dad find and send to me, and I’ve retyped below (word for word, please don’t judge me too harshly, it was 11 years ago!)

Headline: Confederate Flag Still Waves in Chelsea

Article: The confederacy had many flags during its time in the Civil War. But for those in the South, and seemingly in Michigan as well, the Navy Jack flag still appears to be flying high.

The confederacy fell to the Union Army April 9, 1865 and with its defeat came the end to slavery in the United States.

Yes, the war did have other reasons for starting besides slavery, but slavery was a major conflict that the Southern and Northern states had during the 1800s.

With this said, it may seem a bit confusing to some U.S. residents why confederate flags, a symbol of a group that stood for slavery, among other things, are still widely displayed in the United States.

What seems to be more bizarre is the use of these flags in states that weren’t part of the Confederacy.

During Chelsea High School’s annual Tractor Day, many students and drivers on Freer Road have displayed Confederate flags by waving them or painting them on their tractors. AS a student, I have been very angered by the sight of the flags.

The Navy Jack flag was used by the Confedarete Navy and some troops from 1863 onward. However, considering the war ended in 1865, I wonder how students born more than a century later could possibly have personal ties to the flags they boasted on the back of their John Deer tractors.

The only answer I could muster was simply that they couldn’t. Although recent Tractor Days have not include the Confederate flag, I still am aware that Chelsea residents keep the flag.

As a 17-year-old who knows only what the school system has taught me about the Civil War, I wonder why local residents want the flag displayed and to represent any part of them as a person.

I think the flag stands for slavery and racist sentiments. With all due respect to those who hold a different opinion, you would be wrong in saying otherwise. The fact is that the flag stands for racism, and why anyone would want to be a part of that, I am not sure.

It seems to me that our country is very tolerant of people such as though I have spoken about – arrogant people who do not know what things stand for, or people who do know what stands for and agree with the symbol.

Education is the best way to get people to realize that what they are standing for – aware of it or not – is wrong and should not be tolerated.

It seems to me that if we were educated in the history of our country, then people who let the Confederate flag fly as a part of their daily lives would realize the mistake they’re making.

Freedom is something that comes to American citizens as though they deserve it. I am not saying we should infringe on the freedoms of the citizens who chose to carelessly wave a flag that stands for things our country and our state fought against more than a century ago.

Freedom should come with an education, however, and that education should start in Chelsea to show our residents exactly what it is that the Navy Jack flag stands for, before we let them wave it proudly on their property.”

Now, bear with me, because I am about to get long-winded you guys. I got a couple responses back to this article, which I managed to track down. One was from someone who said:

“I read your article (Confederate flag still waves in Chelsea) in the paper today and would like to bring a few things to your attention. First, the Confederate Flag stands for heritage, not hate. Second, the war did not start because of slavery. Thirdly, you make the statement that everyone who displays the Confederate Flag is a racist, which is simple not true. I have black friends, and yes they happily ride in my truck, which proudly displays the Confederate Flag. Below are two website you should visit to learn more about the Confederate Flag. [I haven’t included the links because they no longer work, but one of them is dixieoutfitters.com.]”

I didn’t respond – thinking back, I think we had a policy about not responding to such things. Probably a good thing, because it would have ended in an epic email battle.

The second response I got was this:

“Miss Palluzzi, I wanted to thank you for the insightful and well written presentation regarding the Navy Jack.

I was thinking about writing something regarding affirmative action for the  paper, but after reading your article, I just responded to it instead.

I have attached a Word Document which contains my letter to the editor  response to your piece. I don’t know if they will publish it, because it is rather lengthy, but I wanted you to have a copy of it.

I have learned that race issues are one of the single most emotional issues  in our land. There are a lot of emotions because of the deep spiritual dimension to the issue. We have a lot of healing and growing and learning to do in this area. And it’s a tough one. Sometimes when people are overwhelmed emotionally they just don’t have the fortitude to trudge forward and overcome.

I want to encourage you to keep your insights and your views. Your heart is in the right place. It’s filled with courage and conviction and also speaks volumes about you, the person.”

I don’t know if they ever published his piece, because I was a senior in high school and probably moved on to the next thing. But I do know that what he wrote then still stands true today, so I am giving it a moment in the limelight, if only for a few friends, in the hopes that you’ll read it and take it to heart, as I did.

“As one of the few African Americans, in the Chelsea area, I have been extremely pleased with the refreshing hope and expression of the hearts of individuals in the community to celebrate and recognize the contributions of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and some of the issues and struggles of our nation with regards to civil rights and diversity.

But one of the most interesting things recently written in the Chelsea Standard comes from a high school senior, in the CHS Current dated January 15.

In this well written, positioned and presented piece Miss Palluzzi makes her case regarding the Navy Jack…more commonly known as the Rebel Flag.

It strikes me how this flag does fly so proudly just about anywhere you look. Belt buckles, bumper stickers, hats, windshields and yes, farm equipment are happily and readily displaying the symbol of the Confederacy.

Miss Palluzzi draws the conclusion that the flag represents a symbol that stood for slavery and “the fact is that the flag stands for racism”, in short.

I know that if she were to get into civil conversation about why one would display this symbol so proudly she would rarely hear someone start from the position that ‘I display it because it’s a racist symbol and I’m a supporter of everything that it represents’. She would hear about the cultural and historical accolades this flag stood for in the South for the Confederacy.

Unfortunately, the historical accolades attributed to this flag still stand for divisiveness. If it stood for the Confederacy and the sentiments of the people who so proudly fought and died under this symbol, the Confederacy in it’s greatest truth, was still about splitting the Union and dividing a people, one nation, in two.

Every time I see the Navy Jack so proudly displayed here in Chelsea and across our nation I hear a little voice inside ask does that person detest me because I am a black man? Does that person understand what this symbol means to so many people? Is the person that truly proud of the message he or she is trying to convey especially when it’s on one of those pickup trucks with a little noose hanging from the rearview mirror and the “Redneck” graphic on the back window?

The truth may be more hurtful than I want to know. But I just want to say that this is what makes our nation so unique. I would equally proudly fight and die to preserve the Union, the nation, this land and all it represents not only to Chelsea, or the racist, but also to the world. I support and affirm a person’s right to display this symbol of hatred and racism, and would give my life in the defense of these rights and the hopes and dreams of America and have seriously and conscientiously wrestled with that when I served in the United States Marine Corps. I could lay down my life to defend you even if you are a racist, because I still know that ultimately love will overcome hate one day. And I would rather a person has a chance to come to true internal change than to force and legislate that change. Forced change never roots out the anything. It only creates more masks and builds resentment.

I would offer this in addition to the eloquent presentation Miss Palluzzi did about the Navy Jack. It’s about the heart of a person… if a person truly knows and understands what it does to someone like me when we see the Navy Jack so proudly displayed and doesn’t give a care or concern about how it would make us feel; then that speaks to us about their heart.

I would hope that a person’s heart is true and compassionate and understanding. I would hope that this was the internal struggle of all human beings. But I have come to experience, and know first hand, that regardless of what that symbol means and how it offends so many in some unspeakable, invisible, way, there just are people whose hearts don’t care about how they are hurting others.

America is a unique place. We are the most powerful youngest nation in the world. The Founding Father’s, when forming this Union, wrote about the nature of man and condition of his heart in early papers leading up to the formation of this unique land. They took this into consideration when structuring the way this Union works. Our history is a shared history, as vibrant and full of the stuff of life as any nation. Throughout the course of our shared history many voices and many sentiments have spoken and have expressed themselves in both positive and some not so positive ways. We are getting there. And we are learning that we get there better and stronger if we arrive there together, united and standing shoulder to shoulder, undivided…. You know…”One Nation, Under God, Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for All.”

This was the expression of the hopes and dreams of so many during the days of Dr. King. It’s been the hope and dream of this nation from the beginning and I believe it’s still our hope and dream today. Dr. King knew that one could never change the heart of a racist by returning the same evil energy back. He learned that from the message of his faith experience. Love one another. Do not repay evil with evil. Do for another, as you would wish they would do for you. We are getting there.

If the person flying the Navy Jack is proud of the symbol that it represents whether truthfully or what they wish to imply it stands for then there you have it. They are proud of what it represents. But like I said, it’s speaks volumes about their heart.”

We’ve got a long way to go in this country when it comes to freedom and fairness. But seeing that flag come down in South Carolina made me feel a little hope about what’s to come, and the youth of this country, and the sentiment of our people. And the gentleman who wrote me this, wherever he is, I hope he felt it, too. Together, slowly, surely, we’re changing this country for the better. Let’s keep fighting the good fight.

on why i kept my name.

I have been getting a lot questions that are basically this: “Why didn’t you take your husband’s last name, what kind of wife are you?!”

Some are just asking because they’re curious. Others are asking because they’re judging, one way or the other, feminist or traditionalist or what have you. The variations I’ve gotten are, “So what’s your last name now?”, or “What is your new last name?”, or “You didn’t change it?” followed by a silent judging stare…they go on and on, and they’ve kept up even though I’ve been married for almost six months.

Every time I feel just a little more indignant that people (save my close friends/family) even think it’s appropriate to ask that question. I don’t mind if people are like, “What is your email address?” But I mind people placing me in a box that I don’t think should exist.

The reasons are big and small. Here are some of them. I kept my last name:

* Because I said so.
* Because I like it, and my parents gave it to me, and I like them, too.
* Because Nikki did, setting precedent for me to as well.
* Because what? Why is this question even being asked of me?
* Because feminism.
* Because I love my husband more than most things on this planet but I love myself too and Jennie Palluzzi sounds great.
* Because Palluzzi is who I am.
* Because I am the only Jennie Palluzzi.
* Because Palluzzi Pizza, duh.
* Because I am lazy and didn’t want to change anything.
* Because to be honest, I didn’t really think that hard about it. I just thought, “Hey I am getting married.” In my head, marriage is a lot of things, but it’s not my name.
* Because Jeff didn’t mind, either, because the person he fell in love with was Jennie Palluzzi, as it turns out.

Now, if you change your name, awesome for you! If you hyphenate, great! If you have your husband or partner take your name, cool! Do what you want! I don’t care! You be you! CAN I LIVE?

forgive, let live, and move on.

here are some good things: sunshine at lunch. cooper the dog greeting me at the end of the day. dinner on my plate every night, coffee in my cup every morning. friends that are family and family that are friends and blurring the line between. trips to big bear and out of the fast-pasted city. snuggling after dinner while watching tv. mason jars and cooking with my self or my friends.

here are some bad things: low voter turnout, the reports out of ferguson, the reports out of skid row, that works comp doesn’t cover people’s needs when they are injured on the job, that businesses work the way they do and don’t care about people, global warming, winter lasting forever, droughts flaming up and down california, glorified villains and marginalized heros.

here is what i know: we made this world. we will take ourselves out of it. we will also change it, for the better some days, for the worse on others. today is an inbetween today. i hope tomorrow is a better one. and that better ones follow and follow and swallow up ‘status quo’ and ‘because’ and ‘i never thought of that’ and are replaced with ‘what about this’ and ‘well i don’t like that so imma change it’ and ‘i just though of something brilliant.’

happy thursday, chickens. may you wrestle with life today and come out on the other side stronger and clearer in your convictions with a smile on your face.

 

a beautiful start to a lifelong love letter

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Photos by Mary Costa Photography

A few of my friends have gotten engaged in the past few months, and with that my own wedding has come and gone and I realized that I never told you guys how it went, what we did, etc. Probably because during the wedding I figured I’d sound like a stressed out crazy person, and right after I just wanted to relax and be married.

Now that I have gotten some distance from planning, partying, and basking in the glow of the married life, I wanted to give you a glimpse into my wedding and advice for yours (if you ever choose to get married and are thinking “what have I gotten myself into, read on!)

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* Enjoy your engagement: We were engaged for almost two years. I loved every second of it, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I would say take a month (or two, or in our case, six!) to enjoy being engaged and the excitement of THAT before you even dive into planning. There are basically two options – you have a long engagement and a wedding planning that’s broken into two parts (big stuff like venue, location, date, then smaller stuff closer to the wedding), or you have a short engagement with no break in between. I loved hammering the big stuff out first then chilling for about six months before really getting into the nitty gritty.

*First thing: set your budget (low!): Unless you’re somehow lucky enough to have no budget, you have to do this part first. Set your budget for 25% less than what you think you can afford because it WILL go up. Talk to the players involved (parents, grandparents, etc.) and figure out what you are spending. Everything else comes after this – you can’t look at locations without knowing what you’re going to spend. And here is the truth – you can get married for $500 or $500,000, so nothing is too small – don’t freak yourself out about it too much. Weddings can be very expensive, but they also can be gorgeous on a budget.

Think about the 3 most important things: Think about the top three things that are important to you, and ask your fiance to do the same. For us, it was food, location, and dance time. That’ll help you identify where to spend the most on your wedding, and where you can cut corners. For example, I wasn’t super into a really fancy wedding dress, I didn’t feel like we needed a video (so we had a friend shoot one, thanks Megan!), but I knew that I wanted a DJ that would play what I wanted to hear and I knew that I wanted to get married outside. Figure out what these things are from the beginning and it’ll make planning a breeze.

*Identify your “events” surrounding the wedding: Nowadays people live all over and if you’re like me, you probably don’t have tons of money to just fly willy nilly all over the country (you’re saving for a  wedding, for goodness sake!) So figure out your expectations around the wedding first. Do you need t00o have a bachelorette or bachelor party with ALL wedding party present? Do you want a shower? Do you want to go dress shopping with your family? Do you want a big rehearsal dinner? Do you want a brunch the next day? Do you want to go straight on your honeymoon? Think about these things so you can work within your budget and your friends budgets – be respectful of your bridal party’s time, too! We had a small shower in Chicago with a rolled in bach dinner, and I had a bach weekend with my ladies in LA, which was all perfect!

* DIYing: If you’re DIY-ing everything, spread out the tasks so that each friend is doing one small thing. This helped us immensely at our wedding – Traci made our seating chart, Ellen did the table numbers, Corelyn and Melissa did the burlap/lace table clothes, Kylah was in charge of day-of flowers, and we all pitched in to make the bouquets and boutonnieres (well most my dad, but that’s ok). Plus, it was amazing to see all the crafts come together the day of – really special and humbling to see all the work my friends put in to the wedding!

* Remember it’s your wedding: Don’t give into wedding hype if you’re not into certain things (themes, wedding colors, favors, etc.) We had white linen at the wedding. We didn’t have a champagne toast. We didn’t do favors or seating cards. And it was all fine – people toasted with whatever they were drinking, we had a seating chart, and nobody even noticed. If you have something you care about, awesome. But if you’re not that into it, chances are you don’t need the “extras.” You also want the wedding to be personal to you – so remember that if you do want wedding colors and favors, and hand-written seating cards then you should have those things. See “think about the 3 most important things.”

* Things will go wrong – but it’s ok!: Things inevitably will go wrong, but they will be minor – as long as you let them be. We had a couple mishaps (Lauren in fact was the one who reminded me she forgot her bridesmaid dress) but it was fine. She got another dress. She still made the rehearsal dinner. If you just realize the day will be amazing no matter what, then mishaps will surely be breezed over.

I definitely have more advice specific and general, but this is getting long, so I’ll stop here. I will say this – email me or call me (or come over, let’s be real) and we can talk more. Let me know if you need helping planning your wedding (several of you engaged ladies know who you are who I’ve been harassing to give me assignments) and let me know if you have questions. I have a killer spreadsheet. Corelyn (for those of you who know her) was a great resource, too. Just remember this – your wedding is a start to your marriage. It’s a celebration of all that’s happened and all yet to come. It’s a day to remember for certain, and it will be beautiful.

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come build me up // come shed your light

I love new year’s. I love a new start. I love a new planner. I love a chance to start fresh, keeping in mind everything that happened last year and beyond. I love organizing things and organizing life into months and years is just so convenient, don’t you think?

Last year I made some new year’s resolutions, and some I kept and some I didn’t. I’m reupping several, therefore, to hope to make them this year, and adding some new ones for good measure. I like the idea of vague goals for some things (more free time) and concrete goals for others (300 miles to run). So without further ado, here are my goals.

  • read 52 books (I read 26 last year, half of my goal, but double the year before)
  • find more free time for walking, wandering, laughing, sunshine, giggling, and Scrabble (guys, I am the queen of overbooking, in case you didn’t know)
  • run 300 miles (I ran 107 and 2014. Let’s hope this summer isn’t hella hot and I can actually run outside from May to September, or find a gym to join I like)
  • do an unassisted headstand (which goes hand and hand with more yoga and killer arms and shoulders, please thank you)
  • move (we have been trying to move for literally four years, and I can feel in my bones 2015 is the year of the house)
  • reevaluate my recipe wheelhouse (the thing about having a food blog is you tend to make things either once or over and over and over again. If I feed Corelyn chicken quesadillas one more time I think she’s going to leave me, so we’d better find some new fun things Jeff will eat that are also healthy – and quick!)

Here’s to 2015. Here’s to adventuring and friends’ weddings and camping and sunshine and running and laughing and playing and fun. Happy New Year, lovelies – may your first weekend of the year be as cleansing as mine.

xo