and so the balance shifts

I turn 30 in a couple of days. As with most things, it’s snuck up on me mainly due to the wonderful things happening in my life that keep me busy from day to day – among them, two dear friends getting married this weekend and a new niece welcomed into this world on Jeff’s birthday. For reference, see some of the happy faces of joy from the past week.

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But I did just want to say one thing about today. It’s June 7, 2016, and for the first time in our history, there is a woman who is going to be a nominee for a major party for President of the United States. I watched her speech in Brooklyn tonight, eyes welling with happiness. I thought of the future children I’ll hopefully have and how they might possibly be born when there’s a woman president. Jeff mentioned that it’s all Eleanor will have ever known (our new niece.)

In her speech, Hillary mentioned that her mom was born on June 4, 1919, the very day that the US Senate passed the 19th Amendment, giving women the right to vote. A movement that is credited as starting in Seneca Falls, NY, only 115 miles east of where we watched our friends get married this weekend.

Women have had the right to vote less than 100 years. And look how far we’ve come in those 100 years. The cultural progress we’ve made in the past 100 years is astounding if you look at how long societal barriers lasted in every aspect of our world. It’s so humbling to think that these women couldn’t vote – there are women alive who remember a time before voting was allowed. There are many people alive who had mothers who couldn’t vote.

And now, look where we are. At the cusp of history again. I look at all that’s going on – the feminist movement, the focus on accountability for sexual predators, women’s right to chose, and beyond, and I see a world that’s finally moving towards equal. There’s a long road ahead, but it’s being paved every day by woman like me and you who are standing up and righting wrongs and saying YES to having it “all” and saying NO to sitting on the sidelines.

I know it’s not what everyone wants. Such is the discourse of this great country. But tonight I’m so proud to be in an America that’s about to finally, finally vote for a woman to not be less than.

We are enough. And so, the balance shifts.

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Palluzzi Points: Blast from the Past

It seems history has a tendency to repeat itself. Way back in 2004, when I was in high school, I had a column in the weekly town paper called “Palluzzi Points.” I know, original. I would write my opinion glaringly like only a high school student could. I’ve talked about one before – the time I wrote a post about marriage equality and the response I got that shocked me. Although I cringe at some of my writing, the decision to pull the Confederate Flag down from the state house in South Carolina reminded me of one in particular that I had my dad find and send to me, and I’ve retyped below (word for word, please don’t judge me too harshly, it was 11 years ago!)

Headline: Confederate Flag Still Waves in Chelsea

Article: The confederacy had many flags during its time in the Civil War. But for those in the South, and seemingly in Michigan as well, the Navy Jack flag still appears to be flying high.

The confederacy fell to the Union Army April 9, 1865 and with its defeat came the end to slavery in the United States.

Yes, the war did have other reasons for starting besides slavery, but slavery was a major conflict that the Southern and Northern states had during the 1800s.

With this said, it may seem a bit confusing to some U.S. residents why confederate flags, a symbol of a group that stood for slavery, among other things, are still widely displayed in the United States.

What seems to be more bizarre is the use of these flags in states that weren’t part of the Confederacy.

During Chelsea High School’s annual Tractor Day, many students and drivers on Freer Road have displayed Confederate flags by waving them or painting them on their tractors. AS a student, I have been very angered by the sight of the flags.

The Navy Jack flag was used by the Confedarete Navy and some troops from 1863 onward. However, considering the war ended in 1865, I wonder how students born more than a century later could possibly have personal ties to the flags they boasted on the back of their John Deer tractors.

The only answer I could muster was simply that they couldn’t. Although recent Tractor Days have not include the Confederate flag, I still am aware that Chelsea residents keep the flag.

As a 17-year-old who knows only what the school system has taught me about the Civil War, I wonder why local residents want the flag displayed and to represent any part of them as a person.

I think the flag stands for slavery and racist sentiments. With all due respect to those who hold a different opinion, you would be wrong in saying otherwise. The fact is that the flag stands for racism, and why anyone would want to be a part of that, I am not sure.

It seems to me that our country is very tolerant of people such as though I have spoken about – arrogant people who do not know what things stand for, or people who do know what stands for and agree with the symbol.

Education is the best way to get people to realize that what they are standing for – aware of it or not – is wrong and should not be tolerated.

It seems to me that if we were educated in the history of our country, then people who let the Confederate flag fly as a part of their daily lives would realize the mistake they’re making.

Freedom is something that comes to American citizens as though they deserve it. I am not saying we should infringe on the freedoms of the citizens who chose to carelessly wave a flag that stands for things our country and our state fought against more than a century ago.

Freedom should come with an education, however, and that education should start in Chelsea to show our residents exactly what it is that the Navy Jack flag stands for, before we let them wave it proudly on their property.”

Now, bear with me, because I am about to get long-winded you guys. I got a couple responses back to this article, which I managed to track down. One was from someone who said:

“I read your article (Confederate flag still waves in Chelsea) in the paper today and would like to bring a few things to your attention. First, the Confederate Flag stands for heritage, not hate. Second, the war did not start because of slavery. Thirdly, you make the statement that everyone who displays the Confederate Flag is a racist, which is simple not true. I have black friends, and yes they happily ride in my truck, which proudly displays the Confederate Flag. Below are two website you should visit to learn more about the Confederate Flag. [I haven’t included the links because they no longer work, but one of them is dixieoutfitters.com.]”

I didn’t respond – thinking back, I think we had a policy about not responding to such things. Probably a good thing, because it would have ended in an epic email battle.

The second response I got was this:

“Miss Palluzzi, I wanted to thank you for the insightful and well written presentation regarding the Navy Jack.

I was thinking about writing something regarding affirmative action for the  paper, but after reading your article, I just responded to it instead.

I have attached a Word Document which contains my letter to the editor  response to your piece. I don’t know if they will publish it, because it is rather lengthy, but I wanted you to have a copy of it.

I have learned that race issues are one of the single most emotional issues  in our land. There are a lot of emotions because of the deep spiritual dimension to the issue. We have a lot of healing and growing and learning to do in this area. And it’s a tough one. Sometimes when people are overwhelmed emotionally they just don’t have the fortitude to trudge forward and overcome.

I want to encourage you to keep your insights and your views. Your heart is in the right place. It’s filled with courage and conviction and also speaks volumes about you, the person.”

I don’t know if they ever published his piece, because I was a senior in high school and probably moved on to the next thing. But I do know that what he wrote then still stands true today, so I am giving it a moment in the limelight, if only for a few friends, in the hopes that you’ll read it and take it to heart, as I did.

“As one of the few African Americans, in the Chelsea area, I have been extremely pleased with the refreshing hope and expression of the hearts of individuals in the community to celebrate and recognize the contributions of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and some of the issues and struggles of our nation with regards to civil rights and diversity.

But one of the most interesting things recently written in the Chelsea Standard comes from a high school senior, in the CHS Current dated January 15.

In this well written, positioned and presented piece Miss Palluzzi makes her case regarding the Navy Jack…more commonly known as the Rebel Flag.

It strikes me how this flag does fly so proudly just about anywhere you look. Belt buckles, bumper stickers, hats, windshields and yes, farm equipment are happily and readily displaying the symbol of the Confederacy.

Miss Palluzzi draws the conclusion that the flag represents a symbol that stood for slavery and “the fact is that the flag stands for racism”, in short.

I know that if she were to get into civil conversation about why one would display this symbol so proudly she would rarely hear someone start from the position that ‘I display it because it’s a racist symbol and I’m a supporter of everything that it represents’. She would hear about the cultural and historical accolades this flag stood for in the South for the Confederacy.

Unfortunately, the historical accolades attributed to this flag still stand for divisiveness. If it stood for the Confederacy and the sentiments of the people who so proudly fought and died under this symbol, the Confederacy in it’s greatest truth, was still about splitting the Union and dividing a people, one nation, in two.

Every time I see the Navy Jack so proudly displayed here in Chelsea and across our nation I hear a little voice inside ask does that person detest me because I am a black man? Does that person understand what this symbol means to so many people? Is the person that truly proud of the message he or she is trying to convey especially when it’s on one of those pickup trucks with a little noose hanging from the rearview mirror and the “Redneck” graphic on the back window?

The truth may be more hurtful than I want to know. But I just want to say that this is what makes our nation so unique. I would equally proudly fight and die to preserve the Union, the nation, this land and all it represents not only to Chelsea, or the racist, but also to the world. I support and affirm a person’s right to display this symbol of hatred and racism, and would give my life in the defense of these rights and the hopes and dreams of America and have seriously and conscientiously wrestled with that when I served in the United States Marine Corps. I could lay down my life to defend you even if you are a racist, because I still know that ultimately love will overcome hate one day. And I would rather a person has a chance to come to true internal change than to force and legislate that change. Forced change never roots out the anything. It only creates more masks and builds resentment.

I would offer this in addition to the eloquent presentation Miss Palluzzi did about the Navy Jack. It’s about the heart of a person… if a person truly knows and understands what it does to someone like me when we see the Navy Jack so proudly displayed and doesn’t give a care or concern about how it would make us feel; then that speaks to us about their heart.

I would hope that a person’s heart is true and compassionate and understanding. I would hope that this was the internal struggle of all human beings. But I have come to experience, and know first hand, that regardless of what that symbol means and how it offends so many in some unspeakable, invisible, way, there just are people whose hearts don’t care about how they are hurting others.

America is a unique place. We are the most powerful youngest nation in the world. The Founding Father’s, when forming this Union, wrote about the nature of man and condition of his heart in early papers leading up to the formation of this unique land. They took this into consideration when structuring the way this Union works. Our history is a shared history, as vibrant and full of the stuff of life as any nation. Throughout the course of our shared history many voices and many sentiments have spoken and have expressed themselves in both positive and some not so positive ways. We are getting there. And we are learning that we get there better and stronger if we arrive there together, united and standing shoulder to shoulder, undivided…. You know…”One Nation, Under God, Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for All.”

This was the expression of the hopes and dreams of so many during the days of Dr. King. It’s been the hope and dream of this nation from the beginning and I believe it’s still our hope and dream today. Dr. King knew that one could never change the heart of a racist by returning the same evil energy back. He learned that from the message of his faith experience. Love one another. Do not repay evil with evil. Do for another, as you would wish they would do for you. We are getting there.

If the person flying the Navy Jack is proud of the symbol that it represents whether truthfully or what they wish to imply it stands for then there you have it. They are proud of what it represents. But like I said, it’s speaks volumes about their heart.”

We’ve got a long way to go in this country when it comes to freedom and fairness. But seeing that flag come down in South Carolina made me feel a little hope about what’s to come, and the youth of this country, and the sentiment of our people. And the gentleman who wrote me this, wherever he is, I hope he felt it, too. Together, slowly, surely, we’re changing this country for the better. Let’s keep fighting the good fight.

political thoughts for a friday

This sums up beautifully something I agree with, and so I wanted to pass it along to all of you.

I wish my moderate Republican friends would simply be honest. They all say they’re voting for Romney because of his economic policies (tenuous and ill-formed as they are), and that they disagree with him on gay rights. Fine. Then look me in the eye, speak with a level clear voice, and say,” My taxes and take-home pay mean more than your fundamental civil rights, the sanctity of your marriage, your right to visit an ailing spouse in the hospital, your dignity as a citizen of this country, your healthcare, your right to inherit, the mental welfare and emotional well-being of your youth, and your very personhood.” It’s like voting for George Wallace during the Civil Rights movements, and apologizing for his racism. You’re still complicit. You’re still perpetuating anti-gay legislation and cultural homophobia. You don’t get to walk away clean, because you say you “disagree” with your candidate on these issues.

Doug Wright

Aren’t we all from somewhere else?

I’ve kept quiet this election cycle much more than I did in 2008. I suspect this is because I have been busy in my personal life, in my blogging life over at GMS, and in my work life. But I have to take a moment to talk about last night’s debate, because these issues affect everyone.

I am voting for Barack Obama, and I am guessing this is no surprise to any of you. But I am not merely supporting the President for re-election because I support him fiercely (which I do) but because I am afraid of what a world would look like if Romney wins.

When this election cycle started, no one knew that it was going to be the election that was about not rolling back women’s rights, but that’s what it’s become. Romney and Ryan’s plans to limit my access to contraceptives, abortion (should I God forbid ever need it,) and general family planning is horrifying, and unacceptable.

In addition, I believe that we should take assault weapons off the streets. And the fact that Romney made a question about gun control about making sure that families have two parents (married, off course, a subtle nod that gay parents won’t cut it) was horrific. Or is there a study I missed pointing to single parents as the parents of most murders?

If I hear Romney refer to middle class as “middle-income” one more, I swear, I’m going to lose it. Because, in case you didn’t hear it, Romney defines middle-income as people who are making $250,000 a year – not actually the middle class OR middle-income in this country (which is, in fact, $50,000.)

And, by the way, they are illegal immigrants, not “illegals.” 

My sorella wrote a lot about this today, so I’ll let her post speak to more points that asserted my belief in Barack. I believe in everything she said, luckily, and she beat me to the punch today, plus you guys probably read her blog, too, right?

take a little piece of me/hang it by the place you sleep

Now the the 5K has past, and fall is settling in, I think its time to get back to basics, to get on a schedule, and to make some plans. Summer is my favorite season because it’s carefree, fun, happy, sunshiny. Autumn is my favorite season because it’s about back to it, organization, cooling it down, enjoying every precious sunshiny moment.

What am I going to be up to this fall?

1. Getting on the blog. Big plans for GMS and this blog, but I think I need a noncomputer day to map out everything I think and feel and just create. I am recommitting myself to keeping both blogs accurate, not letting one suffer for the other.

2. Putting me first. This fall, I am going to try to: a) get up early enough to eat breakfast at home; b) get back to exercising my whole body, keeping up running and yoga, too; c) learn how to meditate, and spend at least 10 minutes a day doing so.

3. Moving on up. I want to be looking for two bedroom apartments so we can find somewhere to live that fits our growing lifestyle, and allows Jeff and I to work from home without sacrificing comfort.

4. Paring down, doubling down. Moving and putting me first mean really looking at my “busy” to see what it’s comprised of. Fun activities that uplift me, or commitments that stress me out? Everything is up for evaluation (soccer coaching already passed the test, as did book club.)

5. Relaxing. All of this is to say, relax. Figuring out how to do nothing, and be OK with that. Enjoying small moments, the sun, the wind, the sounds around me, my friends’ laughter, smiles.

Excuse me, now, whilst I head to finish a National Geographic.